


I've Been Meaning to Tell You

by nothingisreal



Category: Motorsport RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-26
Updated: 2018-01-26
Packaged: 2019-03-09 17:13:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,315
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13486068
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nothingisreal/pseuds/nothingisreal
Summary: “I kinda like you. I mean like…likelike you, you know? Juan, you arsehole, this is serious! Stop fucking laughing!”





	I've Been Meaning to Tell You

**Author's Note:**

> English isn't my first language, no beta.

“He has a crush on you,” Mick says offhandedly one day. They’re sitting on some chairs Mick got from God-knows-where, stretched out in the hot July sun, legs crossed at the ankles and heads against the wall.

Juan hums in the back of his throat and looks at Mick over the top of his sunglasses. “Who?”

It’s a valid question. The only people around them are some mechanics and if any of them have a crush on him, Juan would rather die never having known that, thank you very much.

Mick sighs heavily and opens his eyes to give Juan a pointed look. “Who do you think?”

Juan shrugs and leans back in the chair, sunglasses back up his nose and the pose of perfect relaxation in place. Though at this point it’s more a pose than his actual state. “How should I know? I’m a pretty lovable guy, it could be anyone. Ouch!” He leans down to massage his now achy calf, sending Mick a cold glare which the German can’t see but even if he could, it probably wouldn’t make any impression on him. “Why did you kick me?”

“You’re an idiot.”

Juan scoffs and sits back with a huff, his arms crossed on his stomach. He manages to pretend he doesn’t care for good five minutes (he can see Mick laughing quietly out of the corner of his eye) before he can’t take it anymore. “Who has a crush on me?”

Mick’s grin widens, he’s not even trying to hide it. “Jüri.”

Juan almost hits his head on the wall when he suddenly loses balance and falls sideways, where he ends up kind of draped over Mick’s lap. Mick raises an eyebrow at him but otherwise ignores him so Juan just kind of ends up staying there, chin propped on Mick’s thigh. It’s not very comfortable - his back feels a bit like it’s about to snap in half - but he doesn’t mind too much, his brain still trying to process what Mick has just told him.

“Why do you say that?”

Mick shrugs and pats Juan on the back, his hand staying there afterwards and now Juan’s being used as an armrest, whatever, he can go with it. “It’s pretty obvious,” he stage-whispers, wrinkling his nose in that way Juan finds adorable but would rather die than say it out loud.

“It’s not obvious to me,” he tries to argue.

Mick opens his mouth, hopefully to explain, but then the door behind Juan open and Mick just whispers “later”.

“What the fuck are you doing?”

Juan glances over his shoulder to see Jüri staring at them with some very complicated look on his face. Something like amusement mixed with some surprise and a pinch of… concern maybe?

“Relaxing,” Mick says, probably knowing full well that he’s just freely handing Jüri the opportunity to make so many jokes.

Juan narrows his eyes. “Do _not_ go there.”

Jüri winks at Mick and then they both start chuckling while Juan just shakes his head at them and hides his face against the rough denim covering Mick’s thigh. It’s strangely comforting in a way Juan refuses to dwell on because he wants to keep whatever’s left of his sanity.

 

***

 

Apparently, Mick took it very seriously when he said they’d talk later because he comes knocking on Juan’s door at half past nine in the evening, just as Juan is putting on some fresh clothes, still a bit damp from the shower he’s taken.

“Jüri’s here?” Is the first thing Mick says, peering over Juan’s shoulder curiously. “Good.” And then without waiting for an invitation he pushes Juan backwards until he can come into the room and closes the door behind himself. “Sit down,” he says motioning towards Juan’s bed and this is ridiculous, Juan’s being invited to sit down in his own fucking room. But then it’s Mick, so why is he even surprised?

“You’d get away with murder,” he mutters under his breath but apparently not quietly enough because Mick shoots him a cheerful “thanks” paired with a blindingly bright smile. “I get a feeling this will be the kind of conversation which is better with alcohol.”

Mick shrugs. “First of all, it’s the way he looks at you.”

Juan raises his eyebrow. “Let’s get straight to the point, why don’t we?”

He gets ignored once again as Mick just carries on talking. “Second of all, you two are always together. Well, okay - _almost_ always. But I’m sure if I weren’t here, you’d _always_ be.” Mick makes a pause, seemingly waiting for Juan to interrupt him. “And then there’s the very telling fact that he’s said it himself.”

Juan blinks at Mick. It takes a while for the words to fully sink in. “Wait, what? He’s _told you_ he has a crush on me?” Juan wonders what his face must look like in the moment but judging from the way Mick looks like he has to try very hard not to start laughing uncontrollably at least one of them is having fun.

“That’s right. He wasn’t quite sober at the time-”

“When was that?”

Mick shrugs. “After the last race. In Oschersleben. We got a bit drunk.”

“You’re not eighteen yet,” Juan says in a tone that reminds him of his grandma and cringes. Apparently Mick thinks something along the same lines because the corners of his mouth twitch but he manages to keep a mostly-straight face.

“It was in Germany, remember?” Mick laughs at Juan’s disgusted expression. “Anyway, he should remember it, it’s not easy to get properly wasted when all you have is one beer per head.”

Juan bites his lip. He still isn’t fully convinced Mick isn’t just pulling his leg. He spends so much time with Jüri, he would have noticed if there was some truth to what Mick is saying… wouldn’t he? And if it _is_ true, how does Juan feel about it?

“That’s all I wanted to say. I’ll go now.”

Juan just nods, his thoughts miles away as Mick lets himself out with a friendly “goodnight”.

 

***

 

It’s almost his birthday (and Jüri’s), so it shouldn’t be that much of a surprise when Mick convinces them they should celebrate on Sunday evening. Okay, so _convinces_ might not be the best word. More like... Mick suggests they should celebrate and they both eagerly agree.

They end up drinking beer outside on Juan’s balcony. Jüri has been drifting closer to him, Juan wouldn’t have even noticed before but now he’s suddenly realising they’ve always done that and he doesn’t know what it should mean. Mick excuses himself very quickly (Juan suspects it has something to do with the conversation the two of them had two weeks ago and which Juan still hasn’t been able to forget) and then it’s just the two of them.

Jüri’s shoulder is warm against his own and Juan feels like he’s about to start sweating with how stressed out he suddenly is. He still doesn’t know what he’d do if Jüri suddenly made _that kind_ of a confession and it just makes him all the more nervous. He might have to figure it out _very_ quickly.

Jüri shifts next to him and Juan can feel his cheeks heating up because Jüri is staring at him with a very weird look on his face, one that Juan doesn’t think he’s seen before. He opens his mouth to say something and then suddenly shakes his head as if he’d just realised where he was.

“We… We probably should get more beer,” Jüri mumbles quietly, glaring at his empty bottle.

Juan lets out a breath he didn’t realise he was holding. “No. No more beer.”

He doesn’t want to find out what happens when Jüri gets drunk. Or maybe he doesn’t want to find out what happens when they get drunk together, just the two of them? He doesn’t know anymore.

 

***

 

It’s been almost a year. And now they’re back at the Red Bull Ring and Juan suddenly realises how badly he misses Mick when he finds himself staring at some empty chairs blankly. He’s managed not to think about what Mick told him, about Jüri’s supposed crush on him, but in this place it’s just not possible. He can still remember that particular conversation in multicolour detail.

He shoots a look over his shoulder at Jüri and Marcus running around doing… God knows what, Juan _doesn’t_ _want_ to know. He caught the two of them snogging not so long ago. They haven’t seen him but he remembers it vividly - giggling like two schoolboys, Marcus’s fingers on Jüri’s hips pulling him closer, the breathless sounds Jüri made... He really wishes Mick was here so Juan could vent to someone. Mick would find a way to cheer him up.

Ignoring the pang in his chest he takes one of the chairs and pulls it outside, propping it against the garage wall. He’s lonely and unhappy and maybe a bit jealous. There, he’s said it. He’s jealous of how well Jüri and Marcus get along. He has every right to be, Jüri is his best friend. Is it really all there is to it, though?

“Are you okay?” Marcus asks when he comes round the corner to find Juan sitting on his own, bumping the back of his head against the wall rhythmically.

“Great,” Juan replies emotionlessly.

Marcus looks at him for a long moment, then shrugs. “Right. If you say so.” Then he seems to snap out of whatever trance he was in, shaking his head. “We’re leaving.”

It’s nice. Kind of. Who doesn’t like cute animals? It makes Juan feel slightly better. And then there’s the fact that Jüri and Marcus are in two different parts of the farm, so Juan feels like he can go and look for Jüri without running the risk of seeing things he could never unsee again.

Jüri is inside the barn, having a staring contest with one of the cows, his hand hanging in the air several centimeters away from the animal’s head. Juan regards him for a moment with a fond smile.

“Made a new friend?” He asks once he’s managed to compose his face into an expression which doesn’t scream “hopelessly in love”.

Jüri actually jumps at the sound of Juan’s voice, the hand which had been hanging in the air flying to his chest as he turns around a bit too quickly and almost loses his balance. Juan has to bite the inside of his cheek so that he doesn’t start laughing too loudly.

“You scared the shit out of me.”

Juan ignores him completely, his whole attention now focused on the other side of the room. “Oh my God, are these calves?”

He knows Jüri is rolling his eyes at him even with his back turned to the Estonian but he doesn’t really care as he reaches out a hand to pat them. “They’re so cute.”

Jüri mumbles something which Juan doesn’t quite hear but what sounds suspiciously like “ _you’re_ cute” and then suddenly he feels like he’s in a bad romantic comedy when Jüri throws his arms around his shoulders from behind in front of some cows, his laughter ringing warmly in Juan’s ear.

“I’ve been meaning to tell you something,” he says and even though Juan can’t see him, he can imagine him biting his bottom lip, blush spreading on his cheeks.

Jüri untangles himself from Juan and moves to stand in front of him. Juan doesn’t fail to notice how Jüri’s rocking back and forth on the balls of his feet and wringing his fingers.

“What is it?” Juan prompts when Jüri fails to say anything for a very long moment.

Jüri takes a deep breath and then lets it out before he starts talking. “I kinda like you. I mean like… _like_ like you, you know? Juan, you arsehole, this is serious! Stop fucking laughing!”

“That fucker was right,” Juan says when he manages to calm down.

“What?” Jüri asks, so thrown off guard that he forgets to be mad.

“Mick said you did. And I thought he was full of shit.”

Jüri blinks at him, his mouth hanging open. “You… Mick… What? I just told you I like you and you…”

Juan pulls Jüri who looks like he’s about to have a stroke against his chest and presses a quick kiss to the side of his neck. “Relax,” he says, his voice still full of laughter. He runs his lips down along the line where he can feel Jüri’s pulse beating wildly. Juan believes him, can’t say he’s even all that surprised. Except for one thing… “But if you like me why were you making out with Marcus?”

“Oh my God.” Jüri fists his hands in the back of Juan’s T-shirt and buries his face in the crook of his neck.

Juan shifts his hands from Jüri’s back to his hips and draws comforting circles with his thumb where he’s pushed Jüri’s T-shirt up. “Well…?”

Jüri just shakes his head and makes a protesting noise. “Nope. No way I’m ever telling you that. It’s way too embarrassing. You’d never stop laughing at me.”

Juan hums and nods. “Okay.”

“What?” Jüri is so surprised he raises his head off Juan’s shoulder to stare at him in shock. “You’re letting it go just like that?”

Juan shrugs, resting his forehead against Jüri’s with a soft smile. “Can I kiss you?”

Jüri gapes at him before nodding quickly, still looking like he’s expecting to wake up any second now. “Yeah.”

As he slides his hands further up Jüri’s T-shirt, his teeth pulling at Jüri’s bottom lip because he’s discovered it makes the Estonian moan and grasp at Juan’s shoulders, Juan makes a mental note to invent a better story because a love confession and a first kiss in a cowshed is a bit much even for them.


End file.
